Happy and Disappointed

All of my friends and ‘family’ in Orlando knew about the baby, and they were excited, and very supportive of my choice. It made the whole situation a lot better and made me even more excited about the baby. I had also told my two best friends, Elena and Erin* who live in California. Elena, who I have known since I was in the 9^th grade, and we are practically sisters, was supportive and knew that I was doing what I felt best and was going to support me no matter what. Erin was very upset and shocked by the news. She was very conflicted with the news and wondered why I wasn’t going to have an abortion. She is slowly starting to come around to the situation, and being more supportive. I now had to tell my family… which would not be easy. My mother had me at the age of 18, and her and my father did not last. Telling my mother that I was pregnant was the most terrifying thing that I could ever imagine. I never imagined my life happening this way, I planned on being married and all that ‘hoopla’ everyone talks about, but life is crazy and it very rarely happens how we plan. I wanted to have some type of plan for telling my mom, so I wanted to contact my blood father and ask him how things happened when they found out about me. That completely blew up in my face…

Have you ever watched a really bad movie or TV show, and the way gossip spreads when one person calls another, who calls another, calls another, and so on and so forth…? And after it’s all done you say to yourself, that would never happen in real life. Well it does. I am living proof. At that exact moment I wondered where in the hell is the TV crew?!? My blood father Charles* talked to my Aunt, who talked to my Grandma, who tried to call me, but I didn’t answer, so she called my MOM to find out if I really was pregnant. I received a text message from my mom asking me what the hell was going on. So now my mother heard rumors, and I had to be the one to confirm the rumor. See what I mean? Crazy does happen.

“I thought you had your head on straight.” “I am so disappointed, and hurt.” “I never imagined you would make this mistake.” “Your life is never going to be the same.” “How could this happen?” “You were a better person when you were 21, I don’t know what has happened to you.” Those were just some of the things that my mother Sally* said to me that still linger in my head. It was a disaster. This happened on Super Bowl Sunday, and we still are having a hard time talking. My mother is my best friend, so to be going through this is very difficult.

My blood father’s side of the family is the opposite of my mother; they are happy and supportive of the baby. Its extremely difficult having two opposite reactions. When I talk to one group of people I get support, and the other I can’t even talk to without getting into a fight. When I was 7 years old, my mother remarried, and that man Larry* has become my father. He has been there for me through everything. Which is why I consider him my father. So telling him was very difficult as well. He could either rip my head off like my mother, or be very calm and rational about it. He was very rational, and calm about it when I told him. He was obviously very disappointed, and upset, which is what I expected. But at the same time, he didn’t scream, yell, or anything else. He stayed calm and asked questions about what I was going to do, who the father was, and what we were going to do.

Speaking of the baby's father…

* All names have been changed.